mindfulness

From Whom Should You Learn Mindfulness or Meditation?

June 16, 2017 by Barry Leave a Comment

If you want to spend time with yourself, you don’t need an expert.

“I’m thirsty, but I guess I should wait for an aquatic scientist before drinking.”

There is no need to wait

Searching for a certified, aquatic scientist before making the decision to drink water is ludicrous, right? I mean, who in their right mind would even think of that?

Yet that’s exactly what some trained and certified (by their tradition) meditation teachers advise new meditators. Frankly, I think that’s a load of crap and it promotes further division along sectarian lines. Yes, I understand that Buddhist meditation isn’t something that anyone can teach, but let’s be realistic, sitting in silence, focusing on your breath, and learning to be with yourself isn’t rocket science.

The argument seems to be that non-certified meditation teachers can’t take a student deeply into their meditation journey and, therefore, might omit covering the finer points that a traditionally-trained meditation teacher would be equipped to teach.

So, respectfully, I get that but again, we’re not talking brain surgery here. Ok, we are kind of talking about a brain-changing experience, here is where I think that logic breaks down. [Read more…] about From Whom Should You Learn Mindfulness or Meditation?

ask baz: on being distracted

February 17, 2016 by Barry

Is Being Distracted in the Present Moment a Bad Thing?

I was talking to a friend (who also is a subscriber to the blog) earlier today about the way we relate to the present moment. She made the following statement (which is shared with her permission):

S: “I think my biggest impediment [in relation to the present moment] is my distractibility; that’s not to say that I have an inability to concentrate, or to give myself over entirely to a moment, but I find that my mind is a devilish partner in my heart/mind collaboration. Your thoughts?”

Baz’s Response:

Distraction always takes us away from the present moment. However, the new present moment might fully engage us; if that is the case, then a new present moment is available for us to immerse ourselves in. The issue I see here is not the immersion onto a new present moment, but the ease of leaving one moment for another – as you put it, your distractibility.

Both the on-the-cushion practice of mediation and the off-the-cushion practice of mindfulness is about training the ‘unruly child’ to sit still for 5-10-20-? minutes. Over time -via daily practice of these two activities- our minds become less unruly: more calm and controlled. We adopt a new definition of ‘autopilot’ that includes a calmer, more serene operating style in both mind and body.

This week I’m reading The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh. In it, he makes this statement:

“Our breath is like a string that connects our mind with our body.”

When we repeatedly focus on our breath (both in mediation and in mindfulness), we link the two and they operate as one. In the process we become less distracted. Perhaps, less distractible.

Going forward, I’d recommend being as conscious as possible in each moment of distraction; for example, when you are suddenly distracted by something, pause, take a breath, and knowledge the distraction. Take a few seconds and decide if is best to stay with whatever you’d be leaving or if it’s better to make the switch? Sometime it’s OK to switch based on importance, urgency, etc. But sometimes, it simply based on boredom or fatigue.

The key isn’t what you decide, it’s taking the time to know the difference.

What are you thoughts on this issue of distractibility?

if you want to smoke, then smoke; if you want to drink, then drink. who am I to judge?

June 26, 2015 by Barry

This post is about honoring the personal freedom of individual choice, whether or not you personally approve of that choice. The Buddha taught that judgement was an unskilled action to take and therefore resulted in negative karma.

Are you willing to choose negative consequences just to make a point?

Smoke ’em If You Got ’em

You lead a stressful life. You don’t have many vices, but the one activity you enjoy on occasion is smoking a cigarette. You were never a habitual smoker, something you’re personally glad about, but you still like to occasionally smoke a cigarette or two. You’re careful not to light up when children are about and always give others a wide berth.

Does it risk a negative impression of Buddhism if a non-Buddhist sees you smoking? Is this a burden you should even accept? How many false impressions can you personally be responsible for while walking your path?

Barkeep? Another, Please…

It’s Friday night and you’re so happy it’s the weekend you could dance a jig in the middle of the street. You’ve made plans to meet up with some friends at a favorite bar, then get a bite to eat before heading to the new club that just opened up.

You’re most likely going to drink more than you should and probably should not risk driving. Knowing this you opt for public transportation to get to the bar and rely on an appointed designated driver for the rest of the night’s safe transportation.

As an observer, does this plan invoke a since of judgement in you? Does having this plan in place make the behavior of planned drinking make the behavior less objectionable or do you still object to the individuals’ personal choice?

The Real Issue is Bias

The real issue here isn’t smoking or drinking. It has to do with allowing the behavior of another to invoke a sense of judgement within ourselves about their chosen behavior. What if the situations I described involved fancy dinners and decadent desserts? Would the choices to eat these treats make us feel the same sense of righteousness and judgement? Most likely, not. Most of us don’t have the same biases toward desserts that we have toward cigarettes or Bourbon.

The real issue at play is bias. While one person sees smoking as evil incarnated, another sees it as a personal behavior that can be moderated for the safety of non-smokers nearby. While one person sees drinking alcohol as a weakness or a crutch, another sees it as an activity that promotes harmony and laughter.

It’s our biases that result in a reaction of judgement.

My Bias Against ‘Big Religion’

I have a bias again Big Religion (BR). I own it and it’s my issue. It stems from the personal experiences of being rejected by those within the religious system when I decided to leave the tribe. It was so pronounced, that a church Pastor actually told me that “I needed to start acting like a Christian” if I wanted his help in mediating a difficult situation between me and and my ex-wife and her husband. (I tell the complete story in the book.)

I’m also opposed to enforcing a belief system on young children before they have the intellectual capacity to evaluate truth and make decisions for themselves about intellectual issues that will shape the rest of their lives.

Over the years, I allowed this bias to affect me in a number of ways. I became very judgmental about those individuals who opted for membership in BR. My opposition to BR was such that I was so public in my opposition that I allowed it to affect my personal relationships with one of my sons and my daughter who chose a life within BR.

I’ve come to a place now that I can see how my personal bias again BR resulted in behavior on my part that led to this distance. I’ve begun making amends for my bias with both of my children and, though they choose to remain within BR, I can now respect this as a personal choice. Even though I don’t agree with their choice, I no longer descend into a judgmental reaction.

Choosing to Examine Our Biases

Biases are the result of societal factors such as family, culture, nationalism, and economics. I’m not naive enough to think we can change our biases as easy as we change our clothes, but as Practical Buddhists we can choose to examine our biases and come to an informed decision as to whether or not they contribute to a compassionate outlook or one of judgement.

In my experience, judgement leads to suffering. Perhaps the questions we should ask in relation to our biases is two-fold:

Does this bias lead me to be compassionate or judgmental?
Does this bias lead to suffering or liberation from suffering?

The answers aren’t always easy. In my case, my biases against BR are a mixed bag. On one hand they led to to less suffering and more personal freedom within the Dharma; but on the other hand they led me to exercise judgmental behavior. The results of our inquiry and examination don’t always lead to clear results and we have to inquire further and examine more deeply.

Back to the Smoke and Drink

Does smoking an occasional cigarette and enjoying a Bourbon make you more compassionate or judgmental? Does seeing a same-sex couple kiss in public make you more compassionate or judgmental?

That’s for you to evaluate, sit with, and decide. You can also leave a comment on social media if you have a reaction you’d like to share.

the non-secret to non-suffering

June 17, 2015 by Barry

There are some who think that living a life of non-suffering, that is, a life free of self-imposed anguish, emotional pain, guilt, doubt, and worry, etc., is impossible.

What’s suffering?

Suffering is the dissatisfaction or feeling of unmet expectations that pervades life we aren’t in the present moment. It’s disappointment over not getting the promotion. It’s the self-doubt that cripples your confidence in an interview. It’s the regret you feel about your past or the anticipation you feel about your future.

Suffering can be negative, such as reliving an old, painful experience or positive, like when when you daydream about that date you’ve not had with Mr. or Ms. Right. The bottom line is that when you suffer, you’re not living life as it can be lived and you;re not in the present moment.

What’s the non-secret to non-suffering?

Ultimately, the Buddha taught only two lessons: 1) suffering exists in the world. and 2) there is a way to end it.

Ending suffering requires an understanding of why suffering exists. It exists because we choose it via our attachments and aversions. Let me explain.

Attachments – these occur when create versions of reality in our minds: like what it will be like when we get into the University of our choice; driving the new car we really hope to get approved for; or what it will feel like when we can finally buy a home and not rent any longer.

These are all forms of attachments that we form in our brains. The situations don’t exist; we simply created them in our head. But along with these attachments comes expectations, desires, and wants. When reality reveals its hand and the cards don’t include these highly evolved daydreams, we are crushed and disappointed…we suffer because of our attachments.

Aversions – these occur when we avoid confronting issues that may be uncomfortable for us. For example, I’ve never made a video for this blog even though I think it would be helpful from time to time. I run from the idea because it makes me a bit uncomfortable.

‘I’m not a video kind of guy, I don’t have a white, toothy smile like so many YouTubers out there,’ I tell myself. This aversion to being in the spotlight or on video and feeling exposed results in me experiencing a fair amount of suffering.

Both of these examples take you, and me, out of the present moment and we suffer as a result.

Eliminating suffering in the present moment

If I want to eliminate the suffering I experience each time I think of how beneficial it would be to record some videos for TPB, I need to confront my aversion in the present moment. I can do this by having an authentic conversation with someone about how I’m feeling and get feedback. I can also take action and just record a bad video to get the fear out of my system. But the bottom line is, I need to take action and action is always in the present moment.

That’s the non-secret. Confronting what it is that causes the suffering and taking action to move on in the present moment.

The Mindfulness of Getting Inked

May 27, 2015 by Barry

6.5 hours of mindfulness on this one. pc: mike espinosa

It’s an intense experience

The larger and more detailed the design, the more mindful you become.

There isn’t a way to zone out, transcend, or ignore the process of getting inked.

You are fully present in each passing moment; acutely aware of the painful sensations, vibrations, scratching and burning that often accompanies the process.

On the surface (no pun intended), it seems ludicrous to deliberately mark up one’s body with permanent ink that will, over time, fade and become fuzzy. But on the flip side each piece of art is highly personal and expresses something unique.

For me, it’s become almost what I’d call a spiritual experience. It unifies the body and mind in absolute mindful awareness. It’s the quickest, most efficient way I know to experience such a total union of mind and body…that we can safely photograph and share without an X-rating. 😉

The Dharma Sleeve Project (TDSP)

I now have four tattoos; two are on my left arm and two are on the right arm and right anterior forearm. The left arm is reserved for tributes to the time I spent as a young man in the UK. The right arm is a work in progress; a project I refer to as The Dharma Sleeve Project or TDSP for short.

TDSP is a year-long plan to visually illustrate my commitment to walking the Buddhist path in life. I can think of no other way, for me and only me, to make this type of commitment. I’m big into making public disturbances…in quiet and well-intentioned ways of course… and TDSP has become a focus for this energy.

: 3 hours for the dharma wheel

Last weekend I got some additional ink by the artist I trust and like the most. Mike Espinosa of Black Pearl Electric Tattooing & Fine Art (pictured above) in Santa Cruz, CA is one of the most gifted artists I’ve ever met.

He’s done three of my tattoos and it’s my hope that Mike will be able to complete TDSP over the course of the year as my vision for it unfolds. Working with the same artist over a period of time provides each us with insights into the other’s art, mind, and heart.

During the various sessions we’ve discussed the role of art in everyday life and also in relation to the artist’s willingness to pursue their art where ever it leads.

At times, it’s like having a great conversation with my dentist…if my dentist was a cool skater dude covered in ink, a really talented artist, and didn’t have his hands in my mouth.

“F*ck, yeah it hurts”

That’s the quote from both Black Pearl’s bumper sticker as well as a hand-painted sign in Mike’s work room. The pain involved in getting inked isn’t overwhelming, but it is intense. For example, the lower right quadrant of the dharma wheel design you see here, was the most painful area. I guess I have a more generous distribution of free nerve endings in that area as opposed to the other three quadrants. They weren’t nearly as bad, but the pain isn’t what I want to focus on.

The resulting unification of mind and body is like no other experience. Simultaneously the body is saying, “Holy crap, that kinda hurts!” while the mind is countering with, “Remain calm; the pain is momentary and it will pass….and it’s going to be f*cking awesome!”

Only those who been through it can relate. I’ll go further and say that my experience isn’t like a lot of others. I’ve heard some screaming, moaning, and crying while sitting in other shops. I think my experience differs from those folks because my mindset is what The Buddha taught:

“Pain is life is certain, but suffering is optional.”

That’s my mindset going in. I know that everything is impermanent, including somatic pain in most cases and the temporary discomfort imparted by the tattoo machine is just that. The next two weeks involves some discomfort, especially for the first 24 hours, but it’s not unlike the healing period for a burn or an abrasion and I know this going in.

I also know that the resulting art is forever mine and in the case of TDSP, I know it’s going to be totally awesome and serve as a very personal reminder and source of encouragement for my journey in this life.

My dad doesn’t get it, but that’s OK

A lot of people like my 84 year-old father don’t get it. But hey, my 19 year-old bodhisattva son Jay, close friends and long-time buddies, and probably 90 percent of the population in Santa Cruz County, completely understand. That’s like icing on the cake, so to speak. But really, no one needs to get it but me.

It’s Ok that some people will judge me on first sight or reject me for superficial reasons that expose their biases. That’s OK because it provides me with more motivation to express compassion.

Plus, I used to be just like them.

I judged people on appearance alone, on the kind of car they drove and the stylishness of their clothes. I was thoroughly engulfed in perceptional bias and, truthfully, I still have that tendency. But the difference is where once I was deluded by my own sense of self-importance and blind to my perceptions, now I’m aware of them and my tendency to judge others.

Because of this awareness I work as diligently as I can on the meditation cushion to cultivate more understanding, express more compassion, and offer unconditional acceptance toward my fellow sentient beings.

It’s not like getting inked makes me a better person…

Kidding! It definitely does! I know that I’m a better person for getting inked. Just ask my son or my ex-wife. (Hey, if my ex-wife can be supportive, then the sky is the limit, right?) 😎

My ink serves as a reminder of not only the path I choose to walk each day, but of the mindful experiences each tattoo individually required and produced.

They remind me that everything in life is temporary: to enjoy the present moment, the laughter, the closeness of another, and especially the ink…for one day all will cease to be.